Oh, how I remember

I remember the phone call, my young brother's voice trembling across the line as he tried to watch through the chair legs at what was going on in the other room. A feeling that I would not know how to handle, the denial that would send me running from the emergency room in a frenzy.

I remember, the cool November night, it was the 6th, and I had sneaked away from a project so he could take me to dinner. I knew I was in trouble, but I stayed outside under the stars for as long as possible, until he had to go. And before he left, he had a question, he wanted to know if I would be his girl?

I remember the little rat, the one my sister was holding as I disembarked from the bus, I remember it greeted me with a wagging tail and many kisses. The rat, Mugz, my Shetland Sheep dog.

I remember the feeling, the feeling of not being able to breathe as I continued to jump for the surface. Jumping harder then I ever jumped before, trying with every gasp of air to yell for "help", thinking that with everyone that was around, no one would save me.

I remember Cincinnati from a different perspective, one from the truly homeless perspective. The day that brought tears to my eyes to see a man climbing through a dumpster for food, we gave him 2 hot dogs and a bag of chips. Knowing that would only help him this time.

I remember some of the faces, those that really left an impression. The young girl that was about my age; I felt sorry for her, sorry that she had to come get a free meal. The Native American woman that looked like she had a million stories to tell, but did not speak a word to me. The young boy, the one from rehab, the one that was from my neck of the woods, the one trying to get his life back on track, I felt proud of him for trying.

I remember the kid listening to headphones, break dancing by the tv for everyone to watch. He didn't care who was watching or what they would think. He just kept breaking it down, all night.

I remember, the perfect night, in August, he held a perfect little box that encased a perfect little ring. The perfect little ring that he would slide perfectly onto the 4th finger of my left hand. The perfect symbol that no one would understand.